SUM VII by T.W. Hard

Callow med student Bryan St. John tags along on a grave robbing expedition to Egypt, where a secret tomb is uncovered and a miraculously preserved body is whisked back to San Francisco for some outrageously unethical attempts at revival. This is 1979, not 1879, by the way, and spoilers abound, so beware!

Sum VII is unique, like no mummy ever seen before. His brains haven't been sucked out through his nose, nor have his other organs been removed and stored in jars per the standard Egyptian mummification process. In fact, his body is totally intact, and perfectly preserved ... as if he's in a state of suspended animation ...

Well, of course he is! And we know what's gonna happen, they're gonna wake him up and mayhem will ensue! To his credit T.W. Hard puts us through these predictable paces with a modicum of grace. The medical scenes having just enough techno thriller panache to carry us through the outre concept, and once ol' Sum VII is up and about Hard works well at portraying a person lost in time, savagely thrust into a world he never wanted. There's some technobabble gobbledygook that allows a computer to translate snippets of his ancient speech, but thankfully again Hard plays it just smart enough that it feels natural - it's all too little, too late for our modern day bunglers anyways, who find themselves one step behind the canny survivor. He's armed with intelligence, endurance, and mind powers that speak of something otherworldly. His mission? Go back to bed! St. John and the rest of the blinkered scientists eventually see the truth of his quest and oblige him. Farewell, traveler, you were ten times as three dimensional as any of your pursuers!

Some other editions

Sum VII sounds like a suitably dynastic name but author Hard plays cute with us - it's actually his specimen designation, standing for State University Museum, specimen 7 out of 7. It's a nice final wrinkle in this story of culture shock and future shock. Author Hard only put out a couple more titles, at least under this name, but he's hardly the worst writer to tackle paranormal fiction. Too bad.

A message from the ages

For a cliched concept pulled off with acceptable ability, Sum VII earns two out of four ancient alien ankhs:

Ballantine Books, 1979

COSMIC DEBRIS: Atlantean Crystal Headband

Over $100 total for three pieces of naff tat ... but money orders ship out within 48 hours, so that's service you can count on. Clarion Gems has no current web presence but a quick search shows many similar products available from individual sellers on sites like etsy as well as other established psychic hucksters, with the same inflated prices. Dr. Tassioulos leaves the price tag off his site entirely, requiring you to request an order form - a sure sign you're about to get rooked!

From Fate, Volume 43 - Number 12, December 1990.

ESP AND PSYCHIC POWER by Steven Tyler

The mysterious Steven Tyler returns with a text on ESP, running through the big names and big ideas of the midcentury psychic scene! This one is an odd duck, not quite a straightforward skeptic text like his UFO volume, Are The Invaders Coming? but not one of the myriad psychic hagiographies that cluttered the market back then (and now). Tyler goes over wannabe psychic detectives like the dual Dutchmen Peter Hurkos and Gerard Croiset, giving credence to the idea that they could possibly be receiving clues from the other side, though he's forced to admit they have their share of misses and Hurkos especially does not acquit himself well:

Even his devoted admirers became suspicious. The year before the Boston fiasco, Jeane Dixon had been discussing Hurkos with Dr. Regis Riesenman, a psychiatrist with an interest in psychical research. Dr. Riesenman had once brought Hurkos to Virginia to solve a grisly child-murder. Mrs. Dixon told him that Hurkos was headed for trouble. It was a safe prediction. A short while later Hurkos was arrested for impersonating an FBI officer and for carrying a small arsenal of guns. He was later freed and is still active today, giving readings on a circuit of spiritualist churches.

Psychic titan Eileen Garrett admits with some equivocation that law enforcement should probably not be relying on psychic detectives for reliable information. Tyler devotes considerable space to superstar psychic Jeane Dixon, and just as in Jeane Dixon: Prophet or Fraud? her supposed powers of prognostication don't hold up to scrutiny.

Tyler notes that Dixon's so-called prediction of JFK's assassination is "more intricate than inspired," based on continually rewriting her words from years before: her early '50s predictions of a blue eyed democrat "dying in office" becomes an assassination after the fact, for example. She also thinks the USSR had something to do with it, despite all real evidence pointing squarely at a domestic obscenity ... but that's nothing new for Dixon. Tyler also makes note of the obsessive doom and gloom of Dixon's predictions, stoking mainstream American fears over racial strife, labor strife, and all those goddamn crazy foreigners.

Some history of psychical research follows, with stuffy old Nandor Fodor, Eileen Garrett, and J.B. Rhine among others attempting to quantify the unknown under laboratory conditions. Tyler is bullish on what may yet result from their early probings of mysterious forces.

Highlights of the obligatory witchcraft chapter include W.I.T.C.H, the Women's International Terrorist Corp from Hell, though wikipedia lists the C as standing for Conspiracy, not Corp! Anton LaVey makes his usual slimy appearance, complete with a nude redheaded altar. Way to freak out the squares, Anton.

The final chapters detail how to develop your own ESP, which Tyler says is inherent in all of us. There's a little self help action at the end with using your new psychic powers for wealth and wellbeing - that's kind of silly, Steven! Still, altogether not a bad ESP primer from Tyler and Tower Books.

Tower Books, 1970

SHADOW OF THE BEAST by Gerald DiPego

We're closing out the year with some Bigfoot terror! Prolific screenwriter and author Gerald DiPego brings us this backwoods Bigfoot survival thriller, which despite the blurb falls far short of Deliverance but still provides some interesting grist for the Bigfoot mill. Modern author Grady Hendrix has an in-depth review which makes note that this is the rare Bigfoot novel that keeps the sex strictly between Homo sapiens, though it's just as sleazy or more so than something like The Beast or the infamous Nights With Sasquatch, chock full as it is of rape and abuse. DiPego himself doesn't list the novel on his website. You've been warned!

Our protagonist Ruth Cassen is an anthropologist from Illinois with a wild pet theory - that the extinct prehistoric ape Gigantopithecus actually survived into the present day, accounting for modern sightings of Bigfoot. Author DiPego borrowed this idea from real life anthropologist Grover Krantz, who spent the latter half of his career using his technical knowledge to bolster the existence of Bigfoot as a prehistoric survivor. The Giganto theory stands as the most dominant "scientific" model for Bigfoot, as opposed to spiritual or occultic explanations for the beast which seem to have eclipsed stuffy old pseudoscientists like Krantz nowadays. Cassen joins a trek into the Oregon wilderness led by sleazoid guide Jack Lillion, who never met a man he couldn't lick or a woman he couldn't rape. In a hypothetical film adaptation, Cassen could be played by Brooke Adams or Karen Allen, while Lillion is just the type of rotten SOB that Leslie Nielsen perfected before his overwhelming comic turn in Airplane! There's plenty of disposable supporting characters along for the expedition, though DiPego pulls a neat trick and cuts the party down to its bare essentials midway through, after one of them suffers an accident and the majority quest on over the mountain, leaving Cassen, Lillion, the photographer Barthes and teenager Henry to face the Bigfoot and themselves in the deep woods in the middle of a raging storm. Barthes is another sleazebag character, abusing his model girlfriend as he taunts her with his industry connections, while Henry is a confused young man who develops a crush on the good Dr. Cassen. Ruth is hard up for a decent man and guides young Henry into manhood, an arc which wavers between touching, silly, and uncomfortable - perhaps like the real thing.

DiPego can be sensitive while sketching character interactions, but most of the time he prefers to brute force things with his creeps Lillion and Barthes. You'll be begging Bigfoot to show up and take these bastards apart, and thankfully (despite the back copy playing coy with whether the monster will be real or not) we finally do get some Bigfoot action at the climax. DiPego clearly did his research and took the subject seriously for the sake of his story, and it's a nice touch when Cassen sniffs out a phony footprint owing to its arch: Krantz said Bigfoot lacked one! It's another nice touch when Cassen realizes that, far from some prehistoric throwback, these Bigfoot have evolved into the Homo superior. Of course we're meant to contrast the savage Lillion and Barthes against these gentle forest people, and reflect on the greed and stupidity that leads all of our characters into this futile quest. Results are so-so, and the narrative feels truncated and underbaked.

The cover looks like it should be a stepback, but it isn't. This copy belonged to the U.S. Air Force. For a technically well done but unpleasant and underwhelming thriller, Shadow of the Beast earns two faked footprints out of four.

Signet Books, 1984