'GATOR by George Ford

Only 8mg tar? I can't believe it!

"... and Merv Griffin!"

"She's sure making a lot of noise." The screams from the wounded woman on the ridge behind them echoed through the swamp. The black laughed again. "Women don't like pain," he chuckled. "They figure it hurts." Then he stopped laughing just as suddenly; his voice dropped low and became menacing.

"Now let's move it," he growled. "We haven't got all day."

More terrifying than Jaws?

Don't bet on it. Anonymous author George Ford (a pseudonym?) delivers a competent but unexceptional potboiler about a gang of crooks who cross paths with - who else? - one pissed off gator.

Animal lovers beware, the first victim is Puff the Poodle, and he doesn't go easy. His owner Anna Ekberg wasn't even supposed to be here, but horny criminal Harvey couldn't resist picking up the sexy diner waitress on his long drive out to the swamp. He's meeting Steve, George, Cop, Eddy, and a couple other guests for a big drug connection, and their faffing around accounts for too much of the opening action, or what passes for it.

We could have done with one or two less goons filling out the cast as well, considering how much they blend together - is it Eddy or Arthur or George who's the old man? Which one's the asshole? Trick question: it's all of them. There's lots of angry guys shouting and growling and telling each other to shut up, and it reads as filler.

After Puff gets got, the gator starts chomping arms and legs, and the pace picks up a bit. When kingpin J.C. and bodyguard Mattie arrive, we finally get humming with some crossbred Southern fried crime and animal attack action, but it's too little, too late. A crashed plane and gator breeding ground aren't half bad action set pieces  ... but again, it's too little, too late. Maybe Ford should be commended for his immersive style, because we really do feel like we're wading through stagnant water here.

Finally, in the final push, Ford sticks the landing with a pretty good climax as things go SNAFU, and the downbeat ending is predictable but executed with a modicum of grace. 'Gator lackadaisically chomps its way to a 2/4 rating.

Award Books, 1976