It's RAMPATHON all month long in October, as we dive into the works of that insincere swami, that gaseous guru, the mad plumber from Devon himself, T. Lobsang Rampa! Up first is an entry that exemplifies Rampa's mid-career output: slapdash, peevish, and full of self pity to the rafters, we're going BEYOND THE TENTH!
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| Some fellow travelers in the back page ad ... |
The text opens with some goofy scene setting by Rampa, as Tibetan monks debate the wonders of the indoor hot and cold taps they supposedly have in "Merikee" (America, you see), and then some western housewives cluck at the thought of telepathic Tibetan monks. Rampa's point is that it all depends on your perspective, and things that seem wondrous and unbelievable to us in our current modern western viewpoint may not be so much.
Readers looking for guidance on astral travel might be disappointed, as Rampa's instructions as to this seem vague and tossed off ... as well they might, because in the final chapter he admits he dictated the book in two weeks time! The cynical among us might even think he just made it up as he went along.
Most of the text is filled with descriptions of his own fantastical astral travels abroad, some health advice, a little UFO stuff, and an endless litany of whinging about unions, communists, the post office, the cost of healthcare, the cost of living, and the calumnious press campaign of harassment against him - here Rampa is referring to any reporting that accurately states his true identity as one Cyril Hoskin, former resident of Devon and lying fraud. Press criticism of the Royal Family also cheeses Rampa off, as "no family has ever suffered as much for Britain."
In a nice touch, Rampa claims that one of his cats was so saddened by the "press persecution" against him that she died of stress! No worries though, because he can still visit her on the astral plane.
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| Mad as hell and fit to tell us all about it ... |
A bizarre vignette about an evil, thieving Welshman who mooches off the dole while complaining about the English until he gets a job as a bus driver, which then causes him to suffer from constipation, leads to a long section about this condition, which Rampa calls the curse of the ages. He recommends enemas and chewing certain herbs.
Possibly owing to his own chronic poor health, much of this title concerns health advice, with Rampa doing an alright job, in his own puffed up way, of letting people know that they should be informed as patients about what medical care entails and how to communicate with medical professionals to know they're getting the right care. He even disclaims any wonder cures, which is ethical of him. Alcoholism also comes in for a beating by Rampa, who says alcoholics should be banned from marriage and reproduction, as the condition is incurable unless they can bring themselves to avoid the stuff altogether. Sucking boiled sweets is one of Rampa's feeble suggestions to this end.
Also warned against are pay-for-play mediums and psychics, and cheap mass produced "lucky charms" ... though Rampa's Tranquilliser Touch-Stones don't count, for some reason!
Per usual, Rampa bitches about the cost of postage and tells us we'd better send return postage in any letters if we want him to respond! Despite being a best selling author he pleads poverty from all the fees, double taxation, unfair pricing, and etc., that chew away at his books' profits. That all of us might be able to churn out a book in 14 days that gets reprinted yearly, with seven editions and counting including two reprints in 1974!
Rampa wraps things up with some predictions for the future. Australia will blast a giant lake into the outback using nuclear bombs, and become a paradise fit for a billion people! Uruguay could have had this blessing, but the Uruguayans haven't had a hard enough time of things and so weren't kharmically prepared for the task. We're in John Pendragon's territory here, with an addled old man making oddball geopolitical proclamations. Rampa sees communism taking over the world, as trade unions destroy the west and then an evil, all encompassing strain of communism rises - but NOT Chinese communism, Rampa is quick to point out!
Eventually, however, communism in Africa specifically will be thwarted (being the only foreign influence bedeviling that continent, of course) and the people there will be free. Rhodesia cleans itself up and white people leave Africa, until such time in the future that we evolve past racism and become "the race of Tan," in Rampa's words. Maybe one day, the English may live in peace with filthy Welshmen, conniving Chinese, and greedy Postmasters ...
Corgi Books, 1974 (original pub. 1969)
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